The BIG chop!

“A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life” – Coco Chanel.

This will probably be posted on Tuesday, which by then it would be four days since I did my big chop! And before any minds start wondering, no this is not my version of a Britney Spears 2007 breakdown. I had seen quite a few girls with really short cuts and I loved how it looked but I was so convinced it wouldn’t suit me at all. I was thinking I had a really big head and a big forehead so I’d practically look bald which wasn’t the look I was going for.

In the short hand of the story and reason behind my chop, I honestly woke up on Wednesday morning and ended up styling my hair in a slicked back low bun. I looked in the mirror and thought ‘maybe I would look good with really short hair’ and I took that thought and ran with it. I’ve been very impulsive lately, not necessarily in a bad way I don’t think. But I get an idea in my mind and suddenly I’m set on it. Anyway, I started looking at short curly hair cuts and suddenly became more and more obsessed with the thought of cutting all my hair off. I started searching for the best hair salons and hair dresser’s around even though I already had one lol. I just became so excited about it, it was something I’d never done before, I hated having my hair cut I’d feel so upset if I even had to trim my ends.

All the research I had done was pointless because by Thursday, I was just too excited and decided I was going to my usual hairdresser so I called to make an appointment and was shocked to get one for Friday morning! So now I was starting to feel anxious, I was thinking what if it looks terrible??? I’d have to wear wigs until it grows out again! I hadn’t told anybody about this new change, not even my mum! She was the only person who knew I was having something done simply because I had to get the salon’s number from her but other than that nobody had a clue.

I feel soooo happy that I cut all my hair off. I would have never done anything like this a year ago but honestly I feel such a sense of freeness. I suddenly have so many less worries because I didn’t realise how much of a burden and pressure it was to have all that curly hair. Without sounding over the top, it feels liberating to not have these worries anymore. I would spend so much money on hair products and I would get so frustrated at having to do my hair everyday. I needed a change and this is honestly perfect for what I needed. It was so exciting showing people this ‘new me’ and seeing everyone’s reaction was priceless. I was always known as the girl with the long curly hair and it gets old to be honest, so it will be interesting to see what I get named for now that’s all gone. I’ll post some before’s and after’s so you can all see the difference!

dscn0745

IMG_1782 IMG_1755

 

The Cold Generation

This is a topic that has been on my mind for a while now because I see it everywhere. Whether I’m talking to my friends or scrolling through social media it’s promoted everywhere. We as a generation encourage this kind of cold and heartless, almost ‘too proud’ lifestyle or mentality. We make it cool to not love. Now, I’m an old school romantic in every way and I love the idea of that old school love, I wear my heart on my sleeve and I give a thousand second chances. Of course this doesn’t always work in my favour, I’m more susceptible to being taken for granted, to be taken advantage of and to be hurt. I’m aware of all of this but no matter what happens within my friendships and relationships, when things go bad I just can’t put up that front. I’ve tried believe me, but it just doesn’t last.

I don’t know why the subject plays on my mind so much but I find that it’s everywhere. I see it when listening to conversations or scrolling through twitter or even looking at memes! And it’s not just the aspect of love, we no longer communicate anymore. If someone p*sses us off we just stop speaking to them or in the worst case scenario we just block and delete them. If we do communicate we focus solely on the problem but we rarely explain how it makes us feel. Everyone seems too protected or too proud these days to be honest. I completely understand vulnerability but it seems we’ve replaced communication and honesty with fears of being vulnerable. We give off this illusion that it’s cool to not need anybody but I’ve never met anybody who promotes this mentality in a positive light. You can tell that it always comes from a place of hurt. I’ve never come across anybody who, calmly with a great big smile on their face and looking genuinely happy can say “I don’t need anybody, everybody is replaceable.” (no idea who the woman is btw)

young woman portrait with a toothy smile

The truth is, people need people. It’s how we work. We all need something from each other and as scary as it is to potentially put yourself in a place to be hurt or taken advantage of, I believe life is about taking risks. I’ve learnt that getting hurt, or being lied to, or being heartbroken, or having a friend stab you in the back and everything related are all part of life. I personally can’t avoid these things and I don’t think anyone else can. Honestly, I’m more afraid to become “heartless” and not care for anyone or anything. What will matter to me? What will be important to me? But don’t get me wrong, I am not completely naive to give the best of me to just anyone. On the other hand, I am completely selective and very choosey with the company I keep, if I don’t feel a good vibe from a person the first few times we meet then it’s very unlikely I’ll make much effort moving forward and this applies for friendships, relationships, acquaintances at work etc.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, it makes me kind of sad to see so many people with this mindset. Not because I think it’s a bad way to think, don’t get me wrong I completely understand it, I’ve even been there in the past. The only people who can hurt us are the people we actually care about so it makes sense to simply not care. But it makes me feel sad because I’m scared that this is what we’re creating for future generations. The anger and the hurt from whatever situation along with fear that we have built up is what I believe is the sole cause for this way of thinking. Of course some people are a lot less valuable to us than others, let’s be honest, but if you tweet something along the lines of “I don’t need anybody, everyone can get cut off!” does that literally mean ‘everyone’? Should I as your hypothetical best friend look for the exit door now, or wait for the cut? Just know that not everybody in this world is an a**hole but you’re never going to find or be able to hold onto the goodies with a ‘sod the world’ mentality.

“Life’s roughest storms prove the strength of our anchors” – Unknown.

Hope this helps lovelies.

Elisekirsten. xo

Why do I blog?

I feel like I’ve spoken so frequently on the recent unplanned changes in my life and so often I get asked questions such as “what do you do now?” or “what made you start blogging?” All I’ve learnt so far is that life is crazy and unexpected and like I mentioned in one of my previous posts there’s just no point trying to make plans sometimes because God might have other ideas for you!

I used to blog when I was younger but it was all very immature and lacked so much depth, however I did really enjoy it so I decided that my new years resolution would be to start blogging seriously. For those who have been reading since my very first post would know that I started by talking about something very personal, my mental health. I was so anxious about putting something so personal out to the public. So many people would be reading it; my friends, family, people I know of and strangers. But nothing could prepare me for the aftermath of that first post. I was so shocked and quite overwhelmed by the amount of people who had reached out to me because they could relate or had felt something similar. Some were people I knew and some I see everyday so it really caught me by surprise to know that there were people so close to home who were dealing with similar situations just as I was.

I was in a very low place at that time and suddenly, people were turning to me for advice and support. It might sound like nothing but it was an unbelievable feeling that just hasn’t stopped. As much as I absolutely love what I do, I have low days, I take breaks from my life. I have days where I just don’t even want to look at my phone and hide away in my room watching crappy tv all day. Although I try to speak from a positive and motivating outlook, I’m still human and I still feel things so I hope my posts never give off the impression that I’m perfectly fine now or I’m “cured”. But still, the support and messages I receive fuel my need to write even more. I try not to limit myself to just one topic or one aspect because I’ve realised that no matter what I write, somebody will be able to relate or take something from my words. I find myself talking to people I would have never approached before, speaking on personal matters. I’m being linked to organisations and companies and I am seriously enjoying it all.

Fast forward a few months and I’ve found this new venture in life, I have been working on a few projects that I’m really excited to share and put out for everyone. In summary, I started blogging as a form of personal release and a start to my journey but my reasons for continuing and sticking to it is always the support I get from it all. Knowing that people take the time out to read my posts and the feedback I receive is unreal. Thank you!

I hope this helps lovelies.

Elisekirsten xo.

Lashes by Obedient Beauty!

As mentioned in a previous post my 21st birthday is coming up and I’ve decided to go all out and make some serious effort. A family friend of mine is an amazing beauty therapist who I’ve wanted to go to for about a year now and with my big day coming up… why not! I’ve seen so much of her work on instagram (will link social media down below) from eyelash extensions and eyelash lifts to micro-bladed eyebrows and facials. My best friend had her eyelash extensions done for her birthday in January and I kid you not, the last few have only just fallen off a few days ago! Well to be completely honest, she forced them off simply because OB has launched her own brand of lashes and they look absolutely amazing. We saw pictures of them on her instagram and fell in love so she needed the old ones off ASAP. It was worth it!

OB is based in chingford but occasionally offers mobile services. She is a fully qualified beauty therapist and offers gel mani & pedi’s, micro bladed (tattooed) eyebrows, waxes, spray tans and so much more! Her prices are completely affordable and all for great quality.

I absolutely love them, they’re so natural-looking but yet make such a difference to my face. They’re very lightweight and require minimal maintenance. I will allow the pictures to do the talking but be sure to check out her instagram and reviews!

fullsizeoutput_a6cIMG_1544fullsizeoutput_ac2

Instagram: obedient_beauty / o_b_lashes

Hope this helps lovelies.

Elisekirsten xo.

My University Experience!

*disclaimer* I am not influencing anybody in anyway!

I went to St Mary’s University, Twickenham where I studied Psychology because I thought this would be the best university to facilitate my learning, my needs and my future career goals. At the time I was researching universities and courses, I had such a passion for counselling and this was one of the few uni’s who offered a counselling module. I was so excited, I thought this would be the next stage to the rest of my life.

I’d studied Psychology at A-Level but unfortunately I didn’t get my expected grades. I was stressed and had no idea whether or not I had been accepted but my mum being my mum (God bless her soul) jumped on the phone as soon as I told her and called up the uni to see what she could sort out. Low and behold, she’d gotten me accepted for the Counselling Psychology course which however was a foundation degree. This was all in the space of about half hour. I didn’t even have time to think about exactly what I wanted to do, I don’t think I’d even taken in my A-Level results yet.

I didn’t want to do the foundation degree! Yes, it was exactly what I wanted to do but I would’t have been an accredited Psychologist as it wasn’t a full Psychology degree. But my mum was adamant I would go to university. A few days later, I found out that regardless of my grades, I had been accepted onto the full Psychology degree (woohoo!)

I ended up starting this new journey with two friends from sixth form who became my university sister’s and I can’t imagine my first year without them. Moving to twickenham was an eye opener and if anything, a culture shock. We stuck out like a sore thumb and at times felt so out of place. The music preferences were completely different to what we were used to so as much as we tried to participate in fresher’s week, we tried to make the best of it! Everything was so different to what we were used to and socially, I don’t think any of us truly enjoyed it.

Academically, first year was a hit and miss! The type of education and what was expected of me was very different, I felt more pressure to perform well and of course it was a brand new learning curve. However, the content was practically the same as what I had just learnt for the past two years at A-Level so it became very repetitive. I was so excited about this new learning experience and all the things I’d be picking up but instead it was everything I already knew.

9a34d00c6e117f0cc98ea357b11eac7f

Second year became a lot more intense, it felt like a bit of an extension from first year as there was defo a lot more to be learnt but I struggled because I just wasn’t interested in the likes of cognitive and biological psychology yet these were compulsory. I had NO choice in what I wanted to study and it got the better of me. I was simply attending because I had to, I was writing essays because I had to, not because of general interest or wanting to learn but because it was part of the process. At this point, I realised I was no longer in love with my degree. The social aspect of university didn’t interest me and academically, I wasn’t being stimulated but I stuck with it for a while. It took me a moment but I finally came to the realisation that university just was not for me, well, not at this moment anyway.

It’s fair to say that my university experience wasn’t great but honestly, it wasn’t all bad. I’m beyond glad I went, and I met a bunch of amazing people, made some great memories and I have some stories to tell my kids! But here’s my top tips for you:

  • Thoroughly research  your preferred course and the course content, make sure you’re truly interested because this will be your main focus for the next 2-4 years!
  • Look at different courses! Some courses can seem kind of similar so make sure the one you choose caters to your expectations and encourages your career path.
  • Look at a number of different universities! Factor in area; how close/far is it too and from home? Take a look at the surrounding area e.g shops, how accessible everything is. Do you actually like the area as this will potentially be your new home for the next few years! Take a look at the facilities too.
  • If there’s anybody you know who went to your chosen uni or is/was on your chosen course then ask them about their experience but remember their opinion is subjective.
  • Once you’re in, get involved! Make friends, talk to people you maybe wouldn’t usually speak to, sign up for activities you haven’t tried before.
  • It’s hard, as most things are controlled and we don’t really have much choice but try not to settle for anything! Don’t choose a uni based on where your friends are going, don’t choose a course just because it seems easier than what you really want to do, don’t decide to live in an area/home just because it’s cheaper or closer or all your other friends are staying there. If you’re not at least 90% happy with it (I say this because nothing is ever perfect) then don’t do it!

They say your college/university years are some of the best years of your life. Make memories and experience new things! I wish you all the best.

Hope this helps lovelies.

Elisekirsten xo.

OOTE 21st Edition

I’ve been beyond excited lately as my 21st birthday is coming up very soon (06/03) and I’ve planned loads of events to celebrate. I feel I owe it to myself and I deserve to let my hair down and have loads of fun with my loved ones in order to celebrate this new chapter of my life. The big 21, wow!

Me and a few friends went to my fav cocktail bar – Be At One – the other day for early birthday drinks. There’s loads dotted all around London/England and it’s definitely worth checking out! I love Be At One, I’ve only been to two different locations but regardless, the staff are always amazing and super friendly! There’s probably about 50 different drinks and cocktails to choose from if not more and they have 2-4-1 happy hour like everyday!

Outfit for the evening:

img_1480img_1485

Outfit breakdown:

Bodysuit: Oh Polly £20 find it here

Skirt: New Look £20 find it here

Velvet Choker: Topshop £6 find it here

Clear Perspex Heels: Ego Official £30 find it here

With the few upcoming events I have planned for my birthday, I’m hoping to have a few more fashion-related posts!

Hope you enjoyed my lovelies.

Elisekirsten xo.

Comfortable vs Complacent?

Comfortable: to be in a state of physical or mental comfort; contented and undisturbed; at ease.

Complacent: feeling so satisfied with your own abilities or situation that you feel you do not need to try any harder.

I definitely struggle between these two, it’s a process of becoming so comfortable with a situation or a person that I become complacent. On the flip side, I hate complacency, I hate feeling as though somebody has become so ‘satisfied’ with me they no longer feel the need to make an effort, but annoyingly, I know I am prone to this. We all are! It’s so easy to become so comfortable with something or someone, especially when a routine is involved. I love routines in my life but then again, I think they’re my biggest enemy of progress. Think about it, once you’re so set in what you’re used to – your normality – what is the need for change?

I notice this happens with friendships, relationships, work and general stages of life. We become complacent and suddenly need a kick up the bum to refresh and restart. Think about your relationships, when was the last time you did something nice for your partner? Something out of the ordinary just to show you really still care. Go the extra mile for that person because they’re worth it! And your friends? Do you still make enough time for them or even check up on them regularly? Because you might be so caught up in other things you don’t even realise you haven’t seen your good friend for a while. They’re worth it! Has work started feeling really boring and repetitive lately? Try something new, or what about a new job altogether? Find a hobby, plan a holiday, meet up with an old friend!

We are not made to be stuck in boring routines and what is supposedly ‘normal’ but instead, we should be breaking barriers and going the extra mile for our loved ones and for ourselves! Don’t become so complacent you miss the opportunity for something new and exciting or you begin to think “my life is so boring” because it’s not. It all sounds cliché and you’re probably tired of hearing it but I’ve learnt that literally everything requires effort. Complacency is the bane of our lives. 

I’ve noticed that going out of your comfort zone and doing things that may not necessarily be your norm is usually quite beneficial. It’s how we grow and learn what we like and what we don’t. For the first time in a while, I’m happy to be breaking barriers! 

I hope this helps lovelies!

Elisekirsten xo.